10 Tips on What it Takes to Play at Weddings

Here are ten general tips that will help you to be a successful wedding musician. Master these, and you'll start receiving a steady flow of referrals, inquiries, and bookings:

1. Be content with taking directrions from the bride and those she appoints to oversee her wedding, no matter how stange you think her expectations of you may be. Follow instructions with a kind smile and a nod, without being argumentative. Aim to please.

2. Educate the bride about the services you have to offer. Keep the lines of communication open so that there is absoulutey no doubt in the bride's mind that she can count on you.

3. Politely stand your own ground when necessary. Be firm regarding such issues as requesting pay, seeing that you are provided with your performance requirements, and squelching impossible demands.

4. Possess a willingness to offer helpful suggestions about how to select weddings or reception music, without actually making up the bride's mind for her. In other words, if you disagree with the bride's musical taste, or you don't like playing the songs she has chosen, let her know why. If she insists, play what she wants to hear anyway. Understand that she is creating her own personal memories with the music she chsooses.

5. Accept the fact that you will be performing background music while people are talking and mingling. You are not a "diva"-You don't have to be the center of attention.

6. Perform smoothly and with confidence. Understand that if you dispaly a lack of confidence, the bride and the other wedding professionals on your team will have a lack of confidence in you too.

7. Look food, No, look GREAT! Smile. Look like you are having fun when you play, Take good care of yourself and the clothes that you wear. Take good care of your equipment, too.

8. Realize thsat you can learn from other experiences.

9. Know that a positive attitude makes you a magnet for enjoyable, high-paying wedding gigs. You'll be viewed as a calm professional. Brides will appreciate that your feathers don't get fuffled too easily. Better yet, other wedding vendors will see that you can handle
situations that come up at a wedding with ease, and they will want to work with you again. They'll refer you over and over.

10. Love what you do and success will come. Show you love of what your do with gratitiude. Thank the bride, your clients and other wedding vendors, and everyone who crosses your path.

These tips are designed to help your set parameters for what you are and to help guarantee success at future wedding gigs.

Copyright © 2008 by Anne Roos, excerpt from "The Musician's Guide to Brides: How to Make Money Playing Weddings", published by Hal Leonard Books. All rights reserved. No part of this may be reproduced in any form, without written permission, except by a reviewer who wishes to quote brief passages in connection with a review.

Hundreds of additional tips, are available for musicians (and all entrepreneurs) in my book, "The Musician's Guide to Brides" available wherever Hal Leonard Books are sold: music and bookstores, and through online retailers including sheetmusicplus.com, amazon.com,
Sylvia Woods Harp Center catalog, and of course, at my website at http://www.celticharpmusic.com/.

The Right Mindset-The Bride is the Star, Not You

Performing at weddings is much more than simpy playing well. It's more then creating a lovely atmosphere for tying the knot, and it's more than supplying the right party music to get people up and dancing at a reception. Unlike other gigs where you can play any tune you wish within a certain sytle, this is the bride's big day and she is in charge. She gets to select the special music that will make her day magical. This requires clear communication between the bride and the musicians.

This might sound easy at first. So, you just explain to the bride what selections you can perform, she chooses, and then you show up at the wedding and play. Just like any other gig, right? Not so fast...

The bride is unlikely to have hosted or coordinated other big events in the past and therefore will be inexperineced in event planning. Because of this fact, she may have very different expectations of what you can and cannot play, where you can set up, how to pay you, and so on.

The wedding itself, and the planning of it, can be an emotional rollercoaster for a bride. Often she'll hold a picture in her mind of her perfect wedding, and she'll do anything for her wedding day to match her fantasy. She'll enter into wedding planning with these expectations, while she is wrestling with the expectations of her fiance', her parents, and her future in-laws. Sometimes a bride will crack under this pressure, rendering her nervous, indecisive, or overly concerned with non-essential details.

Accept the very real stress a bride may be under and hold her hand through this process. Educate her about what you need from her, from music selection to the kind of performance area that you require, Don't assume she is experienced with party planning. It's also good to do this even with a bride who will be having a smaller wedding, eloping, and getting marrided for a second time, or simply renewing her vows. This bride may be more flexible and relaxed, but she still needs to have the same level of communication with you as a nervous and excited bride with big wedding plans.

Wedding muiscians are an important member of a team of wedding vendors consisting of the celebrant, the event coordinator, the banquet manager, the photographer, the videographer, and any number of other service providers. We all work together to make the bride's day memorable. Wedding musicians are part of the bride's "supporting cast". We are not interested in upstaging or stealing the spotlight from her. She is the star on her wedding day.

Copyright © 2008 by Anne Roos, excerpt from "The Musician's Guide to Brides: How to Make Money Playing Weddings", published by Hal Leonard Books. All rights reserved. No part of this may be reproduced in any form, without written permission, except by a reviewer who wishes to quote brief passages in connection with a review.

Hundreds of additional tips, are available for musicians (and all entrepreneurs) in my book, "The Musician's Guide to Brides" available wherever Hal Leonard Books are sold: music and bookstores, and through online retailers including sheetmusicplus.com, amazon.com, Sylvia Woods Harp Center catalog, and of course, at my website at Celtic Harp Music by Anne Roos

September Tips for Musicians & Entrepreneurs--Education is the Key to Communication

Regardless of your business, whether you are a musician, a wedding professional, or an entrepreneur in another field, the way to keep communication lines open and to keep your client happy is to educate them about what you do.

As a harpist, most people who initially contact me to play at their wedding or special event may have never thrown another big party before. A bride may have a specific picture in her mind of her perfect wedding, so she'll enter into the wedding planning with these expectations. She may also be wrestling with the expectations of her fiancé, parents, and future in-laws, too.

Accept the very real stress a bride may be under and help her through this process. Educate her about what you need from her, from music selections to the kind of performance area that you require. Don't assume she is experienced with party planning. Even for more relaxed clients who are planning smaller, less formal weddings, they still need to have the same level of communication with you as more stressful clients.

No matter what your line of business may be, inform the client every step of the way about what you'll do for them. Even after they commit to hiring you, don't drop these lines of communication. If they are considering whether to hire you, educate them about yourself, don't "sell" yourself. When offering referrals, educate your client about others, and don't push. And certainly, if a dispute arises with your client, think in terms of educating them about the way you handle business, not in terms of winning an argument.

In the wedding business, educating the client averts wedding disasters. And in all business fields, educating your client results in customer satisfaction, loyalty, and yes, referrals for new customers. Read more general information about weddings and at my Celtic Harp Music blog. Feel free to go there and leave a comment.

Hundreds of additional tips, are available for musicians (and all entrepreneurs) in my book, "The Musician's Guide to Brides" available wherever Hal Leonard Books are sold: music and bookstores, and through online retailers including sheetmusicplus.com, amazon.com, Sylvia Woods Harp Center catalog, and of course, at my website at http://www.celticharpmusic.com/.

When the Unthinkable Happens

It is the one thing that musicians and performers dread. We’re all human, and it can happen. I am referring to double-booking. (Yikes!). Maybe two contracts got stuck together in your files and you didn’t realize you had booked that second wedding on the same day. Or perhaps you transferred the time of the gig from the contract to your calendar incorrectly. Or maybe a fellow band member booked a gig and didn’t tell the other members. However it happened, it can be a real jam.

Beyond double- and triple-checking your availability when a client calls, if you get stuck with two jobs that are just too close together, here is what you can do:

Arrive at the second job earlier that day and drop off equipment (instruments, amps, etc.). Set up as much as possible. Then, go off to your first job with another set of equipment. When you are done at the first job, you will be able to cut down on set-up time when you arrive at the second job because you won’t have to load in. Doing this really helped me when I was in this pickle very recently, and neither of my clients were suspect of anything amiss. (Caution: Of course, make sure you can leave equipment at the first gig in a secure location.)

Certainly, if you can only do the two jobs by cloning yourself and your band members, then you’ve got to give up one of the jobs. Select the job that will be easier to refer to someone else. Find a replacement before you phone your client to give them the bad news. Give your potential replacement all the details about the gig, including your client’s music choices, so that when the client phones them, you will have done all the legwork for them. If you cannot find comparable substitute musicians for the gig, contact your favorite booking agent or wedding coordinator and explain the situation to them.

When you speak with your client, tell them that you have found another musician or band for them. Talk up the other band’s great attributes, give your client their number, and tell them, “Let me know what you would like to do after you speak with them.” Or, refer them to a reputable booking agent or wedding coordinator. One referral is enough—The point is to save your client from needing to contact a bunch of different referrals.

Next, put everything in writing: Your conversation with your client, their decision about whether to have money refunded or sent to the alternative act, and your sincerest apologies. Follow the rules that you established in your performance agreement regarding cancellations, and cite these guidelines verbatim in your letter. Mail this letter to your client (keeping a copy for your records), along with any money owed to them. Then, breathe a sigh of relief.

Even if your client decides they don’t want to book the other performers you recommended, they will appreciate the effort on your part and there is a better chance they will react in a rational way to your news. By the way, handle any gig that you have to cancel for any reason in this manner, even if you didn’t double-book.

Tips for Brides, Event Planners, And Anyone Hiring Performers

Musicians are human. We make mistakes. Life gets in the way and sometimes we need to cancel a performance for rational reasons: family events, surgery, pregnancy, and all kinds of other things, including accidentally double-booking. We’ll try our best to find you a replacement act when these things happen, but if we don’t, please ask us to help you. We may know great booking agents or wedding coordinators who can also help. And we’ll happily return your deposit or send it along to the replacement act you select. We are truly sorry when we need to cancel.

Tips for Musicians:

Understand how your client feels when you need to cancel. Be honest with them. Then, help them as much as possible, even if they get irate. I’d be upset, too, if I suddenly couldn’t have my favorite band play at my event. A little sincere compassion goes a long way.
Many more tips are available from my book “The Musician’s Guide to Brides” available wherever Hal Leonard Books are sold: music and bookstores, and through online retailers including sheetmusicplus.com , amazon.com, and of course, at my website at http://www.celticharpmusic.com/productcart/pc/viewPrd.asp?idproduct=9

I’m looking forward to reading your stories, comments, and feedback.
Anne :-)

Anne RoosCeltic Harp Music by Anne Roos
(And contact me at anne@celticharpmusic.com for personal consultation and mentoring—Make a living while gigging)

Painting is by Edvard Munch and is called "The Scream"

Six Tips for Seeking Musicians Through the Internet

The Internet is now the substitute for the Yellow Pages phone book when it comes to looking for talent for your wedding day. But is it truly better? Depends on how you use it. Here are some suggestions for getting the most out of your online musician search:

1. Search engines-Make sure you are searching within the location where your wedding or event will be held. What happens if you fall in love with a band that is 300 miles away from your wedding site? Will you shell out the money to pay for their travel, food, and accommodations? Look for wedding directories in the geographical location where you are getting married by typing something like "Weddings in Tahoe" in the search engine field. Then, look within those directories for the kind of instrumentation you are seeking.

2. Online booking agencies-These websites charge a fee to musicians for their listings. Some of these, such as gigsalad.com, are fantastic. They have a multitude of musicians listed, and you can do your homework from there to get more information. Beware of online booking agencies that charge you a fee to receive information. They should not be charging you to shop on their site (although they may want you to create a username and password so that you can save your searches when you return to their site).

3. Directories that rate musicians who are listed-How did the musicians receive those ratings? Did they pay the site owner an extra fee to receive a five star rating on their listing? And do you really want to hire a musician with less than a perfect rating? If you are looking at directories that rate musicians appearing in their listings, know exactly how they received those ratings before shopping.

4. Online booking agencies that require musicians to send bids to you-Avoid these sites, because there are usually hidden fees that are charged to the musician, and the musician may pass those fees along to you. You may save money if you phone individual musicians, after visiting their web sites, rather than going through a third party to receive bids.

5. Wedding websites-Some of the best places to find musicians online. You will find a musician who has wedding experience and will not end up hiring a band who has no idea how to behave at a wedding.

6. Booking agents online-Many are listed online. Booking agents are particularly useful if you are looking at the last minute, if you want someone else to be the point person with the musicians, or if you simply don't know where to find experienced musicians. Look for booking agents within your geographic area, then give them a call and chat. Expect to pay a commission to a booking agent, a sort of a "finder's fee", for helping you land the perfect musicians for your occasion.

A final word: Beware of comments left on blogs and directories about specific musicians. Don't believe everything you read on the Internet. Find out if your church, banquet manager, minister, event coordinator, and others at your event also recommend the musicians you are considering.

Alex the Romantic

I received a phone call from Alex six days before his wedding. He said, “I’m getting married this coming Sunday. Are you at all available?” I get the quick details of the place and time and the answer is, “Yes! I can do it. You’ll have to get your music list to me quickly, but I’ll be there.”

Alex is like many people headed to the altar these days—He waits until he knows all the wedding services are in his budget, and then he phones around to hire those services. In this economy, people feel safer committing to their wedding plans when they know they can pay for them, and sometimes, that means making wedding plans on very short notice.

It turns out that Alex is a romantic, too. He hired me as a surprise to his bride, Gina. He knew that she would love the added touch of live harp music to accompany her walk down the aisle. Here is the music he selected for his wedding (for more information on these songs, check out my repertoire list:

Pre-Ceremony Seating Music:
1. “Beauty and the Beast”
2. “A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes”
3. “Earth Angel”
4. “Killing Me Softly”
5. “The Unforgiven”
6. “Yesterday”
Plus Classical music selections of my choice

Processional for 1 Flower Girl and 1 Ring Bearer:
“When You Wish Upon a Star”
Bride’s Entrance:
“Here Comes the Bride”
Music played softly behind Exchange of Vows:
“Sunny”
Recessional:
“I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing”

Post-Ceremony Music Played During Photo Session:
1. “La Bamba”
2. “Guantanamera”
3. “A Whole New World”
4. “You’ve Got a Friend in Me”
5. “Isn’t She Lovely”
6. “Stairway to Heaven”

Okay, so Alex’s taste is very eclectic, mixing Disney, Rock and Latin music. But he knew his guests’ taste and he knew his bride.

I phoned Rev. Ronald Sayed, Alex and Gina’s minister, to give him a heads up not to breathe a word to the bride that I would be performing for her wedding. He loved the idea that the harp music would be a surprise.

The wedding day came, and I arrived at beautiful Lakeside Beach at Lake Tahoe on a gorgeous, cloudless summer morning for Alex and Gina’s destination wedding. Alex, dressed in style wearing a matching hat with his beige suit, delivered single roses to mothers who were waiting. Then, Gina arrived by horse drawn carriage. As she walked up the aisle to “Here Comes the Bride”, she turned to look over at me, her eyes got very big, and then she smiled from ear to ear.

After the ceremony, guests sang along to “La Bamba” as I played, and a couple danced while I played “Guantanamera”. One guest asked me to play “A Whole New World” again, too. Guys waiting before the ceremony gave me a thumbs-up sign when they heard Metallica’s “The Unforgiven” on the Celtic harp.

Alex had it nailed. He knew what would please his bride, he knew what would please his guests, and everything went flawlessly. It’s okay for guys to get into the planning of the wedding ceremony and to offer a few romantic surprises. I’ll bet Alex had more romantic surprises waiting at the reception and later that day, too...

Tips for Brides and Grooms:

Ladies—Let your fiancé get in on the wedding plans. It’s his wedding, too. Even if he doesn’t want to be the decision maker for all your wedding details, there may be just a few that he would like to handle. It doesn’t hurt to ask and include him in the planning. Perhaps the music is most important to the groom. Or maybe he’s a foodie and wants to make the final decision on the cake or the dinner menu. Be brave and let him get in on the wedding action. Allow him to surprise you!

Guys—Most women simply melt when you spring a romantic surprise on them. Will you provide a special poem during the vows? Will you bring a red rose to give to each of the mothers? Or will you hire a harpist without telling your bride? Many brides may secretly like a little help in the wedding plans, and offering to help make decisions could relieve some of her pre-wedding stress.

Music can provide a wonderful surprise for your intended. I’ve played the harp as a surprise at wedding proposals, anniversary dinners, birthday parties, bridal and baby showers, you name it. Once, a man hired me to play for his wife as a surprise, while they dined on room service food in their hotel suite. I asked him, “What is the occasion?” He answered, “I just wanted to surprise my wife on our last day of vacation.” I played all the songs he instructed me to play for her, and she cried during dinner. She said, “I have the most romantic husband in the world!” It makes me melt just to think about it.

Some general tips about last-minute weddings and surprises: If you are not booking wedding services months or years in advance, it helps to avoid the busiest days and times of the week. You’ll find more wedding services available for midweek and morning weddings, rather than Saturdays and evenings. And if you are planning a wedding in a public area (beaches, parks, etc.), these locations are typically quieter in the morning hours.

Tips for Musicians:

It’s totally fine to take last-minute gigs, especially in this economy. Many brides and grooms don’t know how much they have to spend on their wedding services until they get closer to their date, and they make quick plans as soon as they know they have the money to tie the knot.

You need to prepare quickly when you’re booked just a few days before the wedding. If you are in the habit of taking deposits before a gig, you may need to rethink your policy on collecting fees. And then there is the fact that you’ll have very little time to practice before the big day. Don’t be concerned about the list of music you receive—As long as you can play it, don’t try to make sense of it. Trust that your client knows exactly what is best for the wedding.

And finally, if you and your music are a surprise, there’s no need to worry about how it may be received. The key is to be flexible about it all, and you’ll have a great time watching everyone’s reaction. Alex knew exactly what would make his bride and guests happy, and I was so glad to be a part of it all.

Many more tips are available from my book “The Musician’s Guide to Brides” available wherever Hal Leonard Books are sold: music and bookstores, and through online retailers including sheetmusicplus.com, Amazon.com, and of course, at my website at www.celticharpmusic.com.

I’m looking forward to reading your stories, comments, and feedback.

Anne :-)

Anne Roos
Celtic Harp Music by Anne Roos

(And contact me at anne@celticharpmusic.com for personal consultation and mentoring—Make a living while gigging)

Gratitude and Contentment

This tip is a simple one, and I am reminded of it every time I perform--Gratitude.

In these tough economic times, I try to turn my mind to being grateful for what I am doing instead of getting nervous about how my calendar is filling up. And when a gig doesn't seem to go just as planned, I don't let it get to me. Instead, I think about how wonderful it is to be providing music for someone's special day or special event. Truly, I can't think of anything else I'd rather be doing.

Performing is never boring. Every wedding, every gig is different. Especially when I'm playing for a wedding, I think about the great honor it is to provide music for a very special day in someone's life. I love being part of the celebration!

Musicians whom I interviewed for my book, "The Musician's Guide to Brides" had this to say about playing for weddings:

"...It's my job, and I love it and love weddings. People are usually happy and a bit excited, the locations are usually beautiful, and music makes a meaningful contribution to the atmosphere of a significant event in people's lives."--Gwyneth Evans, Concert and Celtic Harpist

"Making a living playing music at wedding is to move, touch, and inspire others."--Seán Cummings, eighth generation bagpiper

"You play for people who might not have heard live music in years. And when things go right (and they usually do) the room is filled with joyful tears and heartfelt laughter. What's not to like?"--Tim Goldsmith, Red Davidson Trio

"I found it to be a very immediate gratification for music. People come up to you right away and thank you and compliment you vs. the symphony where the people are distant and clap politely for 15 seconds and leave!"--Van Vinikow, The Supreme Being of "The String Beings" string trio/quartet

"I love music!"--Destiny, Harpist from the Hood

What about you? What are you grateful for in your gigging experience? Does a feeling of contentment get you through the rough spots when a wedding gets crazy? And if you aren't a musician, have you experimented with taking gratitude to work with you? If so, how has it changed things? Do share your thoughts by adding your comments below. I'll cover some great ways to demonstrate your gratitude in the next blog entry...

The attitude of gratitude and hundreds of other tips are included in my book "The Musician's Guide to Brides" available wherever Hal Leonard Books are sold: music and bookstores, and through online retailers including sheetmusicplus.com, Amazon.com, and of course, at my website at www.celticharpmusic.com

I'm looking forward to reading your stories, comments, and feedback.

Anne :-)

Anne Roos
Celtic Harp Music by Anne Roos

(And contact me at anne@celticharpmusic.com for personal consultation and mentoring-Make a living while gigging)